Shower of Mercy

One of the most frustrating aspects of traveling to and staying over at unfamiliar places for me is figuring out the settings of the shower. The shower puts us all in a vulnerable position. Sure, we can't cry out for help without getting thoroughly embarrassed, can we? But for a vision challenged person like me it is a classic case of "Markatasya Surapanam ... ". 

It always starts with the assumption that maybe this attempt will be easier than the miserable ones I've gone through before. The first few minutes tackling the knobs quickly shatters that assumption. I have to fiddle around with the controls, constantly conscious of the fact that the audience outside the bathroom door can hear my struggle. Every minute feels like an hour.

Inevitably, I either get drenched with cold water or scalded with hot water, hurl a few silent expletives, fetch my glasses which I'd confidentially left behind on the counter (this act alone makes me feel more handicapped than anything else) continue tinkering until there is a Eureka moment (not literally) and a steady stream of tepid warm water finally showers mercy on me.

A Forgotten Genius

I feel that Kader Khan is a forgotten genius.

This talented individual who was omnipresent during the late 70s, 80s and 90s primarily as a script / dialogue writer and additionally as a character actor has sadly passed into oblivion.

Wikipedia tells you how this professor of civil engineering got noticed by Dilip Kumar in the 70s and went on to write dialogues for numerous superhit films specifically starring Amitabh Bachchan (Coolie, Muqaddar Ka Sikander, Laawaris to name a few). The flair, drama, wit and poetry in those lines when backed by Bachchan's baritone stayed with the audience long after they had left the cinema hall.

He then transitioned to arguably the most versatile character actor in the mainstream Hindi film industry (save perhaps Amrish Puri and Anupam Kher), appearing in negative roles at first and supporting / comic roles later in his career. The epitome of his success was the association with Govinda and David Dhawan. Together, they were literally unstoppable in the 90s.

And then, it all just imploded in no time. Dhawan ran out of luck with his tried and tested formula, Govinda grew heavy in weight and manner and found it difficult to work with other filmmakers who in turn avoided him due to his indisciplined ways, and the film industry discovered the multi-faceted Paresh Rawal ...

That Rawal is a brilliant actor goes without saying, but in my mind I felt Kader Khan got a raw deal. Yes actors do age out, but it is quite astounding as to how quickly filmmakers moved past him! Fortunately, he appears to have had invested wisely and didn't end up destitute like others in his generation. 

Khan is quite old now, and I doubt he has the strength left to actually perform in feature films, but as a dialogue writer he could still play a role. I hope he gets his swan song before the Inevitable gets him too.

10 years!

It's 10 years to the date I landed in the States for the first time!

In the third year of engineering, there was a panic that set in when ETS announced that they were changing the pattern of the GRE and replacing the analytical section with two essays. "We're obviously at a disadvantage if they drop a scoring section and replace it with two essays", declared some of our batch-mates emphatically while others nodded in agreement.

"What is this GRE?" ... That's the question that popped into my mind. That's how clueless I was. After asking around sheepishly, and getting looks that betrayed condescension from some of the more aware folks, I was finally educated about what this was all about.

But did I really want to go abroad for studies? My father had mentioned it to me a couple of times in passing that I should consider it, but I always thought I had more time to figure it out. But the panic to secure a date prior to September 30, ensured that I could no longer focus on the 5th semester. Soon the only topic being discussed in class was "Which wordlist are you on? ... Anand has already finished going through all of them once ... Did you buy flash cards?".

The herd effect was powerful. I made the first dollar transaction of my life and booked my exam slot. Slogged through the word lists, skimmed through the quantitative and analytical sections. This wasn't enough. ETS allowed you to send your scores free to 4 universities. Even though everyone knew this exercise was pointless as we were submitting scores more than a year in advance of Fall 2004, everyone was busy researching universities. I picked 4 lucky ones out of what everybody else was selecting. There was this strategy of trying to distribute the "good" universities between us so that we didn't send all the topper applications to the same school and end up fighting each other ... again pointless as we'd have to submit the scores again next year.

The result was a mixed one. My nemesis ... English which has publicly caused me enough humiliation in big exams before and after the GRE again made my scores modest at best even though I aced the sections that should matter. Even so, it was over, for then at least.

The frenzy rekindled in the final year, when the on-campus interviews were to be held. There were two very obvious camps within our very own group. Some were very clear that they had to go abroad for studies and were looking at the placements just as a formality. Others had either fared badly in the GRE or were genuinely interested in getting into the work force as soon as possible and were taking the placements really seriously.

Once again, I was underwhelmed. I have this tendency where big events - excitement, good news, bad news - all, don't really have a big impact on me and my response is visibly underwhelming. Was joining the work force so bad? Once again my father pointed out that it wasn't. I could work for a few years he said before deciding to study further.

But the policies in practice at VJTI said that once you got an offer from a company, you could no longer appear for another placement interview. Infosys, the Indian IT giant was the first company to visit us and if you had good grades and did reasonably well in their entrance test, you could get their offer without much effort. But it was unthinkable that the batch topper of an engineering branch would join an IT firm and not take up an admit from a well-ranked US university!

I had absolutely no idea what I wanted. Is this even a choice I thought? Maryland vs Bangalore? For someone who has lived his life in Bombay without any reason or intention to leave it, this is a lose-lose situation. There was no dream, no goal, no 5 year plan and for the first time in my life I felt utterly incompetent. How come other folks had such a clear vision when I didn't even have a glimpse?

The final few days in engineering college make you brave. You lose inhibition and a now or never attitude sets in. You gain enough courage to pose the question. But when destiny has other plans, the default case takes over. I realized that it was time to move on. I've been fortunate to have been trained in one of the best grade schools in the country where all of us know that if we put in enough effort, there are no dead-ends in life. I had just enough confidence to believe in myself that I had a chance in a far off unknown land.

And so on August 12, 2004, I landed at Dulles International Airport backed by no particular dream or goal in mind, but rather by the default case which often rescues us, and makes decisions for us. 10 years on, I have no idea whether that decision was the right one. Life has compensated by giving me a lot, in turn. When I retrospect, I realize that I have no regrets so as to speak. When life gives you a lemon, you make lemonade ... and I'm good at making lemonade from the default lemon :)

After Sachin ...

On the fifth ball of the first over after drinks, in the morning session of the second day of the second and final test match in the bilateral series between India and the West Indies ... it happened ... it happened and just like that a void was created in the soul of every passionate Indian cricket fan around the world. 

Sachin Tendulkar was dismissed for the last time in his marathon career ...

It didn't matter anymore that his wicket was prized by a non-descript part-time off spinner who kept spewing garbage before and after that delivery. It didn't matter that the dismissal itself required a sheer stroke of brilliance from the fielder who managed to hold on to the catch. It didn't even matter that two young cricketers went on to hit impressive centuries and put India in a winning position by the end of the day. 

The spontaneous outburst of emotion from the crowd, from Sachin's mother who was watching her son play live the very first time and even from Sunil Gavaskar who was in the commentary box at that juncture, overshadowed every other aspect of the game.

This farce of a bilateral series has been more about the emotional upheaval surrounding the retirement of India's greatest cricketer. As a colleague quipped, its more like a homecoming game. More about a celebration rather than a contest. And while some entities have gone beyond the ridiculous in expressing themselves, the general feeling amongst the masses who have literally grown up with Sachin Tendulkar in the last 24 years has been a mixture of love, despondence and the sense of inevitability. 

It's the last day of college, the last email before a job change, the last ride to the airport before a permanent move ... all over again ... only much, much worse!

Records aside, this man has managed to unite the country time and again. His reputation was untarnished by the match fixing scandal that disgraced several. He helped groom countless cricketers who were fortunate to share the dressing room with him. He has conducted himself with utmost grace, humility and propriety unlike any other celebrity in the country. He remains a role model to millions. His seniors, his peers and even his rivals all around the world have acknowledged his skill, character and work ethic on and off the field.

If he isn't God, he is pretty darn close to being one! ... A yuga (epoch) has come to an end.

A dear friend of mine wrote the following lines which will resonate with every Sachin Tendulkar fan.

Never again will I be so excited, on the eve of a match of Cricket…

Never again will expectations rise so high at the fall of the second wicket.

Never again will I see you glance at the sun as you walk out to the middle…

Never again will I see you shadow practice strokes with your famous fiddle.

Never again will I begin to pray as you adjust your gear…

Never again will your mere presence fill the bowler’s mind with a cold fear.

Never again will your eyes scan the field as play begins to roll…

Never again will I hold my breath as the bowler runs in to bowl.

Never again will every run be celebrated with a loud cheer and roar…

Never again will the very first run, trigger thoughts of “Only 99 more!”

Never again will a straight drive look so majestic, or a cover drive look so pure…

Never again will technique seem sound, or footwork seem so sure.

Never again will your milestones make me heave a big huge sigh…

Never again will I see you look heavenwards with your arms held high.

Never again will your innings seem so short even after hours of magic you weave…

Never again will I lose interest in a match right after you leave.

Never again will we expect miracles when the ball is thrown to you…

Never again will we be left guessing by the concoction of spin bowling that you brew.

Never again will we see that curly head, or the twisting motion of your arm…

Never again will we see you smile at a wicket fall with a schoolboy-ish charm.

Never again will the country come to a standstill for someone so distant yet so near…

Never again will someone’s last outing leave us all with a tear.

You will be missed sorely; Cricket will never be the same…

You will remain the greatest to walk the field, an unforgettable name.

Thank you for all the memories, I will cherish every moment I could see…

Neither you nor anyone else will ever know what you have meant to me!

- Yash Vyavaharkar November 15, 2013

Post Script

The Government of India has conferred upon him the country's highest civilian award - The Bharat Ratna - he is the first sportsperson to get this award. It is a fitting tribute to the Master Blaster! #ThankYouSachin

Our Tryst With Destiny

The air is pregnant with anticipation now ...

When we found that Shreya was pregnant the two of us had distinctly different reactions. She, being the emotional one, was overjoyed, could scarcely contain the news to herself and started painting visuals in her dreams of what was to come. I, being the practical one, was happy no doubt, but more contemplative; for the "future" which had been nothing more than a subject of casual conversation with friends, was well and truly present ... 

It took time for this piece of information to sink in, slowly but surely though, our lifestyle changed.  Our friends took notice. Some guessed the news and some heard it from us. We moved into a beautiful house and started gathering furniture. Our friends threw us an awesome baby shower. Every gift that we got just added to Shreya's excitement.

She has tried her level best to enjoy every moment of the pregnancy.  I guess, it just comes naturally to her. She leaves the worrying to me. That way, at least one of us has a good time :). 

The morning sickness in the first trimester couldn't wipe out the constant smile on her face. The obvious restrictions on diet and activity which come with pregnancy didn't flinch her enthusiasm. She willingly held back herself from social events knowing that she'd get another chance later. She immersed herself in the prenatal Yoga classes, enjoyed her photo-shoot and made sure that we followed every small tradition that was possible being away from India. She has counted every hiccup and cherished every kick that the baby has provided with glee.

The last month though, has been particularly challenging for her with the weight of the baby increasing around an ounce a day. Along with a number of family members, she made the cardinal error of assuming that her pregnancy would follow the same track as her mother's and expected to get done much sooner than the 40 week deadline. She's essentially been on a self-proclaimed countdown from the 36th week ... an ungrateful brute that keeps resetting callously :)

She bears a cheerful countenance, but one can easily spot the weariness creeping in. Our friends check up on her constantly and try to keep her in good spirits. At home we try to keep her engaged with different projects so as to kill time but every evening the prayer she offers at the altar is no longer silent.

She looks at me with an expression that says "why can't you solve this problem", which is funny and sad at the same time. Our doctor says we are in the "any day" zone now. I've started working from home so that I can be around her. 

The house is set, the gadgets are waiting, the Accord's fuel tank is full and we are probably as ready as we are ever going to be ...

... It's time, my little princess! Wish you can hear me :)

#Chennai Express Follow-Up

This is a follow up to the previous post ... don't judge a book by it's cover they say ... so true!

The trailer of Chennai Express had become unbearable due to Deepika's fake Tam accent. In the movie you get used to it in no time, because unlike SRK's Tam accent in in Ra.One which had a mind of its own, her accent stays true throughout the movie.

She gets top billing in the credits (even above SRK) and thats the way it should be. She has overshadowed the superstar in practically all scenes that they have together. The one stand-out scene is where she gets possessed by a ghost ... literally kick ass!

SRK is strategically reduced to a cartoon, spoofing himself throughout the movie. But it takes guts to do that and to give his co-star the center stage.

The movie itself is a maybe a shade better than Rohit Shetty's Golmaal series. Nothing much to write about except the full house it drew for a matinee show in Austin. What stays with you after the movie is just DP's performance.

Faith restored! ... 

#ChennaiExpress

I am a genuine fan of Deepika Padukone as a commercial cinema actress.

In the world of Bollywood, dominated by star kids and foreign imports, I feel Asin and Deepika are two actresses who are pretty reasonable in their craft - look beautiful, dance well and can actually deliver their lines in fluent Hindi. I've heard several complaints from friends, family and colleagues about Deepika ... to name a few in no specific order

1. Her Hindi has a South-Indian accent.

I confess I can't spot it. By accent you have to prove that it is as evident as Sridevi's or Hema Malini's. If not, then I just don't buy this argument. Besides, a statistical analysis of the chasteness of spoken Hindi of Indian residents born/brought up south of the Vindhyas should more than prove that this point is moot.

2. She mugs up her lines and vomits them on screen.

Surprise! How many model-turned-actresses can even do that decently? I admit this is a weak defense, but I defer to my opening statement. I'm a fan of hers as far as commercial cinema is concerned. If you look at her performances objectively and chronologically, you'll notice that the rough edges are smoothing out as far as dialogue delivery goes.

3. She is very irritating.
4. She is too thin.
5. She laughs in a weird way.

I'm not even sure how to start defending these, because these reasons are highly subjective and to an extent childish. Isn't every actor bound to have quirks?

So after defending her so vigorously, she goes ahead and does something like this #ChennaiExpress trailer ... and it just brutally betrays a loyal fan like myself. All my friends who complained about her Hindi accent will now poke fun at how bad her fake Tam accent is! All of them who say she vomits her lines on screen will get all the proof they need, because she is genuinely blurting out her lines due to that weird accent.

Sigh!

What is faith without a test after all. I'm going to stay my ground. Bracing myself for the brickbats and rotten tomatoes from the non-believers ...